Been awhile

Lets begin with what has been going on...

1) Im officially UNEMPLOYED and miserable. I was laid off thanks to this economy. If I was depressed before this... I have officially hit rock bottom. I have been applying EVERYWHERE and literally i haven't heard back or I got the "we are currently on a hiring freeze." I can't deal I'm starting to panic. I have savings but its been about 5 weeks so far and all money is going to rent, food, bills...

2) I have been on a smoothie diet. Lost 17 pounds in 2 months. Make sure my protein is in there. Its a lot cheaper and quicker then sitting there and making a full meal. Plus since I'm in such a financial crisis this is all i'm left with. I wonder what its like to never have to work a day in your life. 

3) This weather is making me even more depressed. Its always rainy, cloudy, snowy, cold. SUCKS
Hurricane Sandy, Snowstorm Nemo, I barely see the sun EVER. So upsetting. 

4) My heart is breaking. The person i love the most is the one who hurts me the most. I know he lies to me i know that theres a lot of things he isnt telling me. We are falling apart but yet neither of us say anything to change it. He has me last on his list and i believe that is the problem. I would drop what i'm doing and run to him if he wants to do something. Him on the other hand.. Friends first, then work, and then his nonsense then me. If he has time for me then he will call. I need some advice on this!!

I need some boosters. Please send me some feedback, advice, positive energy, and a smile!!! 

New Year New Me?

So I have been doing a lot of thinking. It is a new year. Me being me I'm stuck in a place in my life where i don't know if things could get better or  could get worst. But i am done worrying about consequences. Just need to figure out how i go about making certain changes that for me feel positive whether or not the people around me (friends/family) agree. 

First things first my health is my number one priority. I have been eating healthier since my first blog. But now its time to put that gym membership into good use. I'm trying to get back into 2-3 times a week. MINIMUM!! I'm past the fact that i need/want a "gym buddy." It really is whatever now i can handle this on my own. 

Second, School. I need to finish my college degree. Whether or not it will help me with my career now its good to have. And i can always use it as an advantage in my field although i did enter it with just a simple high school diploma. Although this is something i really want to do. Knowing myself i need to find a balance in my life. LESS STRESS!!

Third, I need to fix my credit score. Get OUT OF DEBT which i managed to put myself in. I need to set up a savings plan and a payoff plan to get myself out. Shopping is going to have to wait. By then end of summer i am hoping to be able to move out on my own. 

Fourth, """""Friends""""". Who is really worth it? I need to cut the negativity out of my life, friends with drug problems. Def must get rid of. I cant have anyone holding/pulling me down. I also don't need or want any drama, fights, problems. 

Lastly, I need to work on my situation with my family. We all see life differently which is why we don't get along. MY life isn't based on religion. Its based on the good and bad. Obviously not going to go out and start committing crimes because i don't believe in a religion but I'm not going to hide what i do and what i want to be and how I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE based on a "religion" that my family expects me to follow. From what i know and all i was taught the basis of my families religion is that god is the finial judge. The way i see things god gave me a mind to think a heart to love lungs to breathe and legs to move. Strong believe in the fact that religion is what separates people. 

Well this is enough for now on my babbling. 

First Post!!

Hello All,
First I would like to begin by saying that my name has been changed for my own privacy. I would appreciate everyone holding back on negativity aimed at hurting my feelings. I'm 24 years old and female. I am battling a deep depression. And today is the day that I am going to break through and start some important changes in my life. The first thing I would like to get started on is my image and health. Right now I'm 5'4 and weigh about 224 pounds. I managed to gain about 80 pounds over the last couple years due to my depression. I found comfort in food. Which now makes me feel sick to my stomach. So instead of starving myself I am going to research and create a diet plan and gym routine. I would love any feedback and suggestions on dieting meals plans and gym routines. My goal is to lose the 80 pounds I gained and I would like want to do it before summer of 2013. I hoping to find others like me who would work with on this and be more of a support group. I will explain further on maybe in another post, more about what led to my depression. As of now I'm hoping to see the light shining at the end of the tunnel. I'm not a very vocal person when it comes to my feelings but it is very easy for me to write them down. So these are my private thoughts gone public. Please be respectful. In my first request for help. I want to start with the first meal of the day. What would be a healthy breakfast. I'm sure my coffee and cigarette is extremely UNHEALTHY.


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