Who Cares?

You ever want that heart warming feeling? That hug that takes away your pain? That message that lets you know you are not alone. Some reassurance that everything is going to be okay? 

Instead your stuck alone, sad, eyes full of tears and you just sit there and wonder why.. why you?

That is me. I really feel so alone right now. I don't have any family to turn too. I don't have family. I have been on my own since I was 17. Lived alone. I see my friends they all have family to turn to. Not me. My family didn't want me. So they left me. ALONE.

Does prayers really make you feel better? If someone could put me in theirs. Id appreciate it.

New Year New Me?

So I have been doing a lot of thinking. It is a new year. Me being me I'm stuck in a place in my life where i don't know if things could get better or  could get worst. But i am done worrying about consequences. Just need to figure out how i go about making certain changes that for me feel positive whether or not the people around me (friends/family) agree. 

First things first my health is my number one priority. I have been eating healthier since my first blog. But now its time to put that gym membership into good use. I'm trying to get back into 2-3 times a week. MINIMUM!! I'm past the fact that i need/want a "gym buddy." It really is whatever now i can handle this on my own. 

Second, School. I need to finish my college degree. Whether or not it will help me with my career now its good to have. And i can always use it as an advantage in my field although i did enter it with just a simple high school diploma. Although this is something i really want to do. Knowing myself i need to find a balance in my life. LESS STRESS!!

Third, I need to fix my credit score. Get OUT OF DEBT which i managed to put myself in. I need to set up a savings plan and a payoff plan to get myself out. Shopping is going to have to wait. By then end of summer i am hoping to be able to move out on my own. 

Fourth, """""Friends""""". Who is really worth it? I need to cut the negativity out of my life, friends with drug problems. Def must get rid of. I cant have anyone holding/pulling me down. I also don't need or want any drama, fights, problems. 

Lastly, I need to work on my situation with my family. We all see life differently which is why we don't get along. MY life isn't based on religion. Its based on the good and bad. Obviously not going to go out and start committing crimes because i don't believe in a religion but I'm not going to hide what i do and what i want to be and how I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE based on a "religion" that my family expects me to follow. From what i know and all i was taught the basis of my families religion is that god is the finial judge. The way i see things god gave me a mind to think a heart to love lungs to breathe and legs to move. Strong believe in the fact that religion is what separates people. 

Well this is enough for now on my babbling.