Shattered..

My hearts been shattered. The love of my life just walked away. 9 years together. 9. and its all over.

Who Cares?

You ever want that heart warming feeling? That hug that takes away your pain? That message that lets you know you are not alone. Some reassurance that everything is going to be okay? 

Instead your stuck alone, sad, eyes full of tears and you just sit there and wonder why.. why you?

That is me. I really feel so alone right now. I don't have any family to turn too. I don't have family. I have been on my own since I was 17. Lived alone. I see my friends they all have family to turn to. Not me. My family didn't want me. So they left me. ALONE.

Does prayers really make you feel better? If someone could put me in theirs. Id appreciate it.

Been awhile

Lets begin with what has been going on...

1) Im officially UNEMPLOYED and miserable. I was laid off thanks to this economy. If I was depressed before this... I have officially hit rock bottom. I have been applying EVERYWHERE and literally i haven't heard back or I got the "we are currently on a hiring freeze." I can't deal I'm starting to panic. I have savings but its been about 5 weeks so far and all money is going to rent, food, bills...

2) I have been on a smoothie diet. Lost 17 pounds in 2 months. Make sure my protein is in there. Its a lot cheaper and quicker then sitting there and making a full meal. Plus since I'm in such a financial crisis this is all i'm left with. I wonder what its like to never have to work a day in your life. 

3) This weather is making me even more depressed. Its always rainy, cloudy, snowy, cold. SUCKS
Hurricane Sandy, Snowstorm Nemo, I barely see the sun EVER. So upsetting. 

4) My heart is breaking. The person i love the most is the one who hurts me the most. I know he lies to me i know that theres a lot of things he isnt telling me. We are falling apart but yet neither of us say anything to change it. He has me last on his list and i believe that is the problem. I would drop what i'm doing and run to him if he wants to do something. Him on the other hand.. Friends first, then work, and then his nonsense then me. If he has time for me then he will call. I need some advice on this!!

I need some boosters. Please send me some feedback, advice, positive energy, and a smile!!! 

Sandy Hook Elementary School (Updated 12/19)

What the hell is going on on America! we can't go see a movie without possibly being shot now we can't send our kids to elementary school! This is heartbreaking! I am shocked, it really takes a sick and twisted person to go into a school and kill innocent children.no kid should have to be scare to go to elementary school... this is such a tragedy and my heart goes out with thoughts and prayers to the families in Connecticut...such a heartbreaking story at this time of the year and at an elementary school!!

Sandy Hook





Turns out that the shooter opened fire in his MOTHERS classroom. What a sick sick person


Updates





So my heart just keeps breaking. This news is so heartbreaking. Looking at the pictures of the students.. children .. little angels that were taken from this world in such a violent way. Teachers who acted as heros, may god bless their souls for what that have suffered is the greatest scarifice. A saving that shall never be forgotten. Parents and siblings who are heartbroken, familes whose lives have been shattered. May the man (lanza) guilty of this murderous, monsterous crime get repeateldy hit by KARMA over and over. Lanza.. TERRIOST. Lets put a name on his crime. And act of TERROR and act of MURDER.

My heart just keeps breaking.

I wish all these angels a safe journey to the other side and for their familes and friends to be able to find peace and strength thru this horrible black cold time. Amen